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What stage of being a parrothead are you

Posted: August 6, 2008 9:38 am
by Tiki Bar
Flashback... old, and should probably be updated, but...
gullreefer wrote:A friend in my PH Club emailed this to us... I thought it was great and wanted to pass it on to y'all.

You can download it in Word if you want to pass it on to someone else.

The Life Cycle of a Parrot Head

1.The Stage 1 parrot head spells Buffett with one “t” and struggles with the answer to the following question:
Buffett is the guy that did (choose one):
  • a. Margaritaville
    b. Cheeseburger in Paradise
    c. Why don’t We Get Drunk and Screw
2.The Stage 2 parrot head realizes it’s Buffett with two “t’s” and
  • a. Buys “Songs You Know by Heart” because he heard “that one song” at a party
    b. Starts hearing all about the wild concerts and openly declares to the world he/she is a parrot head.
    c. Goes out and buys that Hawaiian shirt they wanted all their life, or at least since last week.
3.Look at me, I’m a parrot head
  • a. Goes to a Jimmy Buffett concert and is amazed by all things parrot head
    b. Loved the show, but can’t remember any of it through the alcoholic haze
4.One Particular Parrot
  • a. Decides they should buy a few more albums so that the old timers will stop laughing at them when Jimmy plays “One Particular Harbour” and he/she says “that’s a great song, I’ve never heard it”
5.Domino College
  • a. Buys the box set so they don’t have to buy all the old albums. Still gets laughed at (or ignored) because they’ve never heard “Migration” and “Cowboy”. The good news is that he/she is now able to move their hands the right way to “Fins”.
6.Buffett is God
  • a. Starts collecting the albums, buys a couple more Hawaiian shirts and perhaps a coconut bra (or two)
    b. Has two concert tees and a subscription to the COCONUT TELEGRAPH.
    c. Suddenly has a burning need to find out all that is Buffett.
    d. Considers Buffett to be a God, although they’ve never heard the song “God’s Own Drunk”.
    e. Actually believes Buffett is a beach bum.
    WARNING: Some people never get passed this stage
7.Say it ain’t so Jimmy…
  • a. Is reading everything there is on Buffett and is becoming disillusioned.
    b. They are closing their ears and screaming “say it ain’t so” when people criticize their “hero”.
    NOTE: No one stays at this stage for very long. They either punt and return to Stage 6 or move on to Stage 8.
8.Screw Buffett
  • a. Accuse Buffett of being a heretic, a sell out and that all the concerts sound the same
    b. This is also a dead end stage for many fans
    c. Cancels COCONUT TELEGRAPH subscription from Stage 6.
    d. Complains about concerts, new records and every other money grubbing venture by Mr. Margaritaville.
    e. Hates it when his/her non-parrot head friends label him/her a parrot head.
    f. Enrolls in four separate 12-step programs.
9.Hi, my name is, ________ and I listen to Buffett music.
  • a. Comes to the realization Buffett is human, deals with it through the support of other Buffett fans or some internal strength.
    b. Understands the myth, and to some degree, the man who created it and finds solace somewhere between Stage 6 and Stage 8.
    c. Can’t buy anymore albums because they have them all.
    d. Enjoys the music for what it represents, which is why they bought it in the first place, and ignores all the other ***** as best as possible, without forsaking their own moral standards.
    e. Re-subscribes to the COCONUT TELEGRAPH

    NOTE: If you reach Stage 9, still listen to Buffett, and enjoy the concerts and lifestyle….
You, my friend, are a PARROT HEAD.

Posted: August 6, 2008 9:47 am
by changingchannels
i go the shows,buy the music and TRY to ignore all the other b.s. as much as possible.

Posted: August 6, 2008 9:49 am
by RinglingRingling
Stage 1. I love me a good Buffet

Posted: August 6, 2008 9:59 am
by parrothead_nj
I'm seeing a lot of #8s on the board recently. How do we stage an online intervention to get those 8s to a stage 9? Maybe it could be broadcast on A&E's Intervention show.

Cheers,
Kevin

Posted: August 6, 2008 10:10 am
by changingchannels
parrothead_nj wrote:I'm seeing a lot of #8s on the board recently. How do we stage an online intervention to get those 8s to a stage 9? Maybe it could be broadcast on A&E's Intervention show.

Cheers,
Kevin

jimmy to get a hairtransplant.botox.blond highlights,,move back to key west,stop selling everything under the sun,make all tickets 30 bucks,play a setlist with zero cover songs,write and record with your band! :D

Posted: August 6, 2008 10:27 am
by parrothead_nj
So its not an intervention, we need a "Way Back Machine" so we can go back in time 20+ years. I'm all for that.

Posted: August 6, 2008 10:37 am
by SchoolGirlHeart
Solid Stage 9. I think I skidded through Stage 8 in about 20 minutes one depressing afternoon and landed where I am now. :P

I'm not sure what stage it happens, but by Stage 9 I think most folks have also discovered the Reefers' additional great musical talent (solo, Club Trini, etc).

Posted: August 6, 2008 10:38 am
by tikitatas
SchoolGirlHeart wrote:Solid Stage 9. I think I skidded through Stage 8 in about 20 minutes one depressing afternoon and landed where I am now. :P
wJs :lol: :lol: :lol:

Actually, I MIGHT have spent half an hour there.

Posted: August 6, 2008 10:39 am
by GumboPirate
:lol: :lol:

A very accurate assessment indeed!

Posted: August 6, 2008 10:40 am
by popcornjack
Part of me is stage 8, part of me is stage 9, and has been for a long time, even though I don't know whatever happened to my coconut telegraph subscription, but anyone who knows me knows I'm still kinda stuck in stage 3, specifically the alcoholic part of it. :lol: :lol:

Posted: August 6, 2008 10:42 am
by z-man
I don't have a Coconut telegraph subscription :oops:

But I still will claim Stage 9 :lol:

Is it Stage 10 when you listen to all the other Trop Rock acts more than Buffett? :lol:

Posted: August 6, 2008 10:43 am
by bixxx
Hmmm i thought this was a 10 step program
at least that's what I signed up for

Posted: August 6, 2008 10:45 am
by tikitatas
bixxx wrote:Hmmm i thought this was a 10 step program
at least that's what I signed up for
Not 12??

Posted: August 6, 2008 10:48 am
by RinglingRingling
popcornjack wrote:Part of me is stage 8, part of me is stage 9, and has been for a long time, even though I don't know whatever happened to my coconut telegraph subscription, but anyone who knows me knows I'm still kinda stuck in stage 3, specifically the alcoholic part of it. :lol: :lol:
that wasn't narcolepsy that had you napping in Cinci?

Posted: August 6, 2008 11:13 am
by Karacal
Definitely stage 9!! :wink:

Posted: August 6, 2008 11:16 am
by surfpirate
None of these stages really apply to anyone who saw their first concert and bought their first Jimmy Buffett 8-track back in the 1970s, thus growing older but not up and evolving right along with Jimmy.

Most of the stages are aimed at a fan base that joined the trip already in progress.

So "none of the above" for me.

Posted: August 6, 2008 11:18 am
by SchoolGirlHeart
surfpirate wrote:None of these stages really apply to anyone who saw their first concert and bought their first Jimmy Buffett 8-track back in the 1970s, thus growing older but not up and evolving right along with Jimmy.

Most of the stages are aimed at a fan base that joined the trip already in progress.

So "none of the above" for me.
Very true!!

Posted: August 6, 2008 11:21 am
by Frank4
I'd fall into stage 9. I still love the music. I don't make to shows anymore, but between Radio Margaritaville and my Ipod, I cover that pretty well.

In this day and age of troops being overseas, high gas prices, people losing their houses, jobs, and what not. I can tell you-I need a little bit of Jimmy Buffett to help me make it through the week. I wear my concert shirts from prior tours on the weekends. I watch my 18 month old son do "Fins" with his hands. It makes me smile. Because for a moment, I'm on a beach somewhere with no worries and a cold drink in my hand

Posted: August 6, 2008 11:36 am
by springparrot
Yup, I'm a #9 :D

Posted: August 6, 2008 11:43 am
by caly
I am proud to say I am a step 9'er.

I wear the clothing and say it proudly.
If you don't like it you can ...... :evil: That is my attitude. Talk down about him of the lifestyle and you "ain't worth my time". Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and so am I.