Do You Keep In Touch With Old Boyfriends/Girlfriends ?

ph4ever · Post by **ph4ever** » August 18, 2008 11:09 am

I looked up an ex; found his sister and then found out he had been murdered about 7 years after we parted ways. That was an interesting day - even found 7 pennies all together at the train station, I looked at it as a "sign" and still have those pennies. She and I corresponded regularily for a while, but it's been a long time since I heard from her

My ex BIL and I found each other.

Beyond that - well I really don't care too much about the rest.

Can an male/female relationship be platonic? Oh hell yes!!! One of my best friends and his family live in Portland. His wife learned to accept our close friendship years ago, in fact she and I have grown close over the years as well.

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » August 18, 2008 11:12 am

chippewa wrote:Seems there's very little to gain by contacting them (does anybody need another email buddy?), but a whole lot to lose.

But I might be biased, 'cause nobody ever bothered to look me up.

after you met Mrs. Chip, was there ever any reason to miss previous girlfriends? I don't think so

LIPH · Post by **LIPH** » August 18, 2008 11:13 am

The closest I ever came to contacting one of my ex-girlfriends was to google her. She's an OB/GYN now. I always wondered why she was fascinated with stirrups ...

Frank4 · Post by **Frank4** » August 18, 2008 11:13 am

Nope. I figure it would just lead to problems. I have moved on and really have no desire to keep in touch. Hope everyone is doing well

Mottola-Buffett · Post by **Mottola-Buffett** » August 18, 2008 11:15 am

chippewa · Post by **chippewa** » August 18, 2008 11:18 am

RinglingRingling wrote:
chippewa wrote:Seems there's very little to gain by contacting them (does anybody need another email buddy?), but a whole lot to lose.

But I might be biased, 'cause nobody ever bothered to look me up.
after you met Mrs. Chip, was there ever any reason to miss previous girlfriends? I don't think so

I'm in the book. That's all I'm sayin'.

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » August 18, 2008 11:22 am

chippewa wrote:
RinglingRingling wrote:
chippewa wrote:Seems there's very little to gain by contacting them (does anybody need another email buddy?), but a whole lot to lose.

But I might be biased, 'cause nobody ever bothered to look me up.
after you met Mrs. Chip, was there ever any reason to miss previous girlfriends? I don't think so
I'm in the book. That's all I'm sayin'.

true. yours and the other 4 phones in town..

Big Red Parrothead · Post by **Big Red Parrothead** » August 18, 2008 11:36 am

Kind of depends on if they're worth keeping in touch with.

Most of the girls I ever went out with I'm still friends with. (Heck, one was even one of my wife's bridesmaids in our wedding.) We dated for a while, decided it wouldn't work but we still get along. No harm, no foul.

Guess I'm lucky in that regard--haven't had too many really bad breakups.

Tiki Bar · Post by **Tiki Bar** » August 18, 2008 11:41 am

Have I googled any of them, out of curiousity? One, after a BN thread reminded me of him a couple years ago. Came up empty though.

Do I keep in touch with them? No

Would I want to, to be friends? No

Now that I'm fairly newly single again, would I want to, for _ _ _ ? Maybe

Tiki Bar · Post by **Tiki Bar** » August 18, 2008 11:45 am

Mottola-Buffett wrote:
RinglingRingling wrote:Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
To those of you with a one-track mind, yes, it would be difficult to believe that there are those out there that simply want to be friends.

I need to find me the Harry Burns's of the world!

VanillaGrl · Post by **VanillaGrl** » August 18, 2008 11:51 am

Only one that I really think about from time to time and wonder and hope that his life is a happy one. I've never tried to look him up, but I have to admit, I have thought about it. There were things that were left unsaid...that should have been said.

STL PARROTHEAD · Post by **STL PARROTHEAD** » August 18, 2008 11:52 am

Tiki Bar wrote:Have I googled any of them, out of curiousity? One, after a BN thread reminded me of him a couple years ago. Came up empty though.

Do I keep in touch with them? No

Would I want to, to be friends? No

Now that I'm fairly newly single again, would I want to, for _ _ _ ? Maybe

bow-chicka-bow-wow!!!!

Lightning Bolt · Post by **Lightning Bolt** » August 18, 2008 12:00 pm

Mottola-Buffett wrote:
RinglingRingling wrote:

Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
To those of you with a one-track mind, yes, it would be difficult to believe that there are those out there that simply want to be friends.

I don't know where you're based, and I accept that it may just may be my point of view.
Maybe it is different in smaller towns, where people regularly see each other,
but we're not "wired" to collect women as friends, and those men you speak of (especially unattached) either have, as Jimmy Carter put it, "lust in their heart",
or ....they now find you exceptionally unattractive now and will easily accept a platonic relationship

...or they're just as queer as a $3 bill.

Wishing for the rekindling of past semi-successful relationships with the opposite sex strokes no one's ego but your own, and can hardly be viewed as constructive.
Do you honestly think your husband would appreciate your attempts to "rediscover your past men"???

SchoolGirlHeart · Post by **SchoolGirlHeart** » August 18, 2008 12:02 pm

Mottola-Buffett wrote:I think it goes back to the age-old question: Can a man and woman have a friendship that is platonic?

I say a whole-hearted YES! I have a number of very good friends who happen to be male. In each case we both know it would be unmitigated disaster to even consider being more than friends. In fact, it would destroy our friendship....

However (and it's a huge however), I think it's difficult or impossible to go back to being platonic friends after you've been closer than that.....

Mottola-Buffett · Post by **Mottola-Buffett** » August 18, 2008 12:14 pm

Frank4 · Post by **Frank4** » August 18, 2008 12:17 pm

PartofthePhlock wrote:
Sidew13 wrote:Never had an ex
Kristi was my first girlfriend in high school, and I married her

ahhhh, that is so sweet and romantic.

That is pretty cool and really nice.

docandjeanie · Post by **docandjeanie** » August 18, 2008 12:35 pm

yes, and that's all I'm saying

STL PARROTHEAD · Post by **STL PARROTHEAD** » August 18, 2008 12:55 pm

docandjeanie wrote:yes, and that's all I'm saying

oh...Jeanie!!! you can't leave us with just that!!!!

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » August 18, 2008 12:58 pm

Mottola-Buffett wrote:
Lightning Bolt wrote:
Mottola-Buffett wrote:
RinglingRingling wrote:

Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
To those of you with a one-track mind, yes, it would be difficult to believe that there are those out there that simply want to be friends.
I don't know where you're based, and I accept that it may just may be my point of view.
Maybe it is different in smaller towns, where people regularly see each other,
but we're not "wired" to collect women as friends, and those men you speak of (especially unattached) either have, as Jimmy Carter put it, "lust in their heart",
or ....they now find you exceptionally unattractive now and will easily accept a platonic relationship

...or they're just as queer as a $3 bill.

Wishing for the rekindling of past semi-successful relationships with the opposite sex strokes no one's ego but your own, and can hardly be viewed as constructive.
Do you honestly think your husband would appreciate your attempts to "rediscover your past men"???
I suppose if you lived in a one-horse town, as you suggest, and your former boyfriends/girlfriends live nearby, you may find it difficult to contain the "lust in your heart" and face them regularly at the local Brew and Stew.
The men of my past (and those of my husband's) all live thousands of miles away... in a past life that is fun to reflect on.
I have NO Problem with my husband contacting (out of curiosity) girlfriends from his past. In fact, I have often wondered what has happened to them, myself!
It's all a matter of being secure in your current relationship. For those with relationships based on insecurities, I suppose all sorts of jealousy could ensue.

Didn't you ever have friends of the opposite sex? I went to college and studied in a male-dominated field. All my friends were guys. We hung out together constantly, road-tripped together, attended eachother's weddings, email back and forth all the time. I don't find that odd at all.

thinking the fingers got a little ahead there...

Mottola-Buffett · Post by **Mottola-Buffett** » August 18, 2008 1:02 pm