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For fear of being accused of starting a depressing thread on terrifying moments, I thought I'd add a more light-hearted topic for conversation.

Years ago (17 to be exact), my husband and I were "required" by the catholic church to attend pre-marital classes. We lucked out and were assigned to a class at a fun young couple's house. We spent one evening a week eating great food and discussing marriage. One of the questions that I remember being asked was : "How much money would you feel comfortable spending without feeling that you should tell your spouse?" We were told to write our answer on a piece of paper then try to guess the amount that your significant other had written. And then, obviously, have a discussion about it.
The reason I remember the question so clearly is because on my piece of paper I had written $100 (I was 24... $100 was a good chunck - heck, it still is). Anyway, on Rick's piece of paper he had written $1000 ! At first, I was offended that he thought he could spend up to $1000 and not feel it would be necessary to tell me or consult me on the matter. BUT THEN, after thinking about it for a moment, I realized this was actually great news; what this really meant was that Rick would not throw a fit if I were to go out and spend $1000 bucks and not tell him about it !!!!

And so here's the fun Friday question of the day:

"How much money would you feel comfortable spending without feeling that you should tell your spouse/significant other?"

We have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to discretionary spending.

We always make sure the bills are paid, food in the fridge, etc., etc......but I seriously don't want to know how much the chrome dodad for the harley cost and he doesn't want to know how much my Ed Hardy purse cost.....so we just live in denial.

It's my money, I'll spend as much as I damn well please. (I'm not married.)

What's his is mine and what's mine is mine - the way it should be!!!

We're both very different types of spenders. In order to keep our marriage intact I had to get my own account cause he's a spender and I tend to hold on to my money. So whatever he spends on whatever it don't matter

LIPH wrote:It's my money, I'll spend as much as I damn well please. (I'm not married.)

You know what? I'm married & I'll spend as much as I want on what I want.









Just don't tell the Mrs.....

pbans wrote:We have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to discretionary spending.

We always make sure the bills are paid, food in the fridge, etc., etc......but I seriously don't want to know how much the chrome dodad for the harley cost and he doesn't want to know how much my Ed Hardy purse cost.....so we just live in denial.

That's how it is in my house....make sure everything is paid.

I usually ask for a limit before I go out shopping. Golf stuff, wine, and what not.

My wife is a purse addict. Shoes are a close second.

I do not ask anymore.

So now you're trying to break up marriages, boy is THIS depressing!

I know that if I go over $100 I better have a good excuse. For example, last spring the Penguins were in the Stanley Cup playoffs and I REALLY wanted to go...I went online and got good seats as soon as they went on sale...$300 just for tickets + hotel + gas.

I immediately called the wife and said, "I love youuuuu." She knows this is code for, I just spent more than $100. She says, "What did you buy?"

It was one of the best games I've ever seen and she agrees. Whew! That worked out well.

Things have been kinda tight lately so we've been needing to budget a bit more, I wouldn't spend more than $20 or so on myself without consulting the wife first.

I was gonna say about a hundred bucks. But then I thought of the times I bought us Buffett tickets and booked hotel rooms without prior consent. So it's probably about $500.
But no more than $100 for tangible items. Neither one of us are big spenders/shoppers.

ph4ever wrote:What's his is mine and what's mine is mine - the way it should be!!!

I'm all for buying what you want when you want, unless of course, one person in the relationship is a mega-consumer and sends the marriage into bankruptcy. My brother's wife seemed to always have new clothes, purses, shoes, household accessories that she claimed had been sitting in the closet for years; apparently we had just never noticed them ??? As it turns out, she'd run up thousands of dollars of debt on her credit card.

ph4ever wrote:What's his is mine and what's mine is mine - the way it should be!!!

We're both very different types of spenders. In order to keep our marriage intact I had to get my own account cause he's a spender and I tend to hold on to my money. So whatever he spends on whatever it don't matter

You probably shouldn't have posted that where I can see it.


Just kidding, I love you.

Mottola-Buffett wrote:One of the questions that I remember being asked was : "How much money would you feel comfortable spending without feeling that you should tell your spouse?"

That's pretty funny, I got married a little over 3 years ago and we were asked that same question. I don't remember my answer at the time. Now, I'd be fine with her spending up to around $250 without telling me. On the other hand, I think she'd expect me to tell her if it was over $100.

chippewa wrote:I was gonna say about a hundred bucks. But then I thought of the times I bought us Buffett tickets and booked hotel rooms without prior consent. So it's probably about $500.
But no more than $100 for tangible items. Neither one of us are big spenders/shoppers.

Funny thing is, last time I saw Jimmy was at Wrigley Field and my wife spent $600 on tickets. I was a little stunned, but it was 12th row...

It depends. $100-$50,000. I'll spend $100 a day and not worry. I might also spend $50,000 but that would be an extreme case. Don't worry, I'll get pictures and post them when she finds out about the $50k purchase. The response should be even funnier than the $35k purchase 10 years ago.

We really don't have a set amount. We discuss large purchases but neither of us are big spenders. Recently I purchased $90 sneakers for my 13 year old son and when I got home I realized that was insane - I just wanted to get out of the store. He was driving me nuts! Well when hubby got home and I told him he agreed that I had briefly lost my mind. So last night we went back and he got $50 sneakers and he likes them just as much.

I probably wouldn't spend more than $50 outside of our budget, but we really try to plan for most purchases, even small ones.

However, hubby is more likely to spend unaccounted money than me, but it is generally on things like a surprise weekend or something like that.

I'm a really crappy gift buyer, so I usually ask hubby what he wants, ask how much it is, and when he wants to go pick it out.

I'm probably most guilty of little expenses that add up like going out to lunch than he is, though.

LIPH wrote:It's my money, I'll spend as much as I damn well please. (I'm not married.)

I'm a not married either. (Any more).

But, in 1999, when I WAS married, I spent $1500.00 without telling my wife.

It was for two plane tickets to Hawaii-a birthday present for her.
She saw there were TWO tickets, and her response was
"OH GOODIE! I GET TO TAKE A FRIEND."

Wino you know wrote:

LIPH wrote:It's my money, I'll spend as much as I damn well please. (I'm not married.)

I'm a not married either. (Any more).

But, in 1999, when I WAS married, I spent $1500.00 without telling my wife.

It was for two plane tickets to Hawaii-a birthday present for her.
She saw there were TWO tickets, and her response was
"OH GOODIE! I GET TO TAKE A FRIEND."

What was his name? Did they have a good time?

SuperTrooper wrote:What was his name?

Coincidentally, HIS name was also Garry. (Still IS Garry, to the best of my knowledge).

Did they have a good time?

She said they did, so they must've.

Spouse/significant other? What's that?

As long as I don't run out of cat food, my cat doesn't care how much I spend or what I spend it on. And if the plants care, they haven't expressed an opinion yet.