New Stock Market Terms

[aeroparrot]

CEO --Chief
Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud
Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an
investor to mistake himself for a financial
genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids
get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no
sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling
lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their
pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my
broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR --
Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot
who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When
your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between
themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been
disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy
stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it
disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell
after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker
who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR
-- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use. (It
was difficult to find in my Thesaurus ...)

[parrothead3282]

[rich_big]

I would laugh, but can’t afford it.

[GumboPirate]

[pbans]

I'm sure when I stop crying, I'll appreciate this joke.....