The Funniest Thread Ever

Little Miss Magic's Mama · November 7, 2008 11:42 am

krusin1 wrote:
SMLCHNG wrote:
krusin1 wrote:

Why don't blind people like to sky dive? Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

This one really cracked me up!

FunkHouse9 · Post by **FunkHouse9** » November 7, 2008 12:00 pm

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?
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Irene

Conolulu · Post by **Conolulu** » November 7, 2008 12:01 pm

FunkHouse9 wrote:What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?
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Irene

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » November 7, 2008 12:09 pm

Why did cave men pull their women around by their hair?

So they wouldn't fill up with dirt.

so, so sorry.

drunkpirate66 · Post by **drunkpirate66** » November 7, 2008 12:09 pm

Conolulu wrote:
FunkHouse9 wrote:What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?
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Irene

I just spit out my coffee. THAT is awesome!

drunkpirate66 · Post by **drunkpirate66** » November 7, 2008 12:10 pm

buffettbride wrote:Why did cave men pull their women around by their hair?

So they wouldn't fill up with dirt.

so, so sorry.

D*MN woman!

FunkHouse9 · Post by **FunkHouse9** » November 7, 2008 12:12 pm

A military Captain asks three of his soldiers to do some tasks around the base. He tells the white guy: "You're in charge of bathrooms." He tells the black guy: "You're in charge of the kitchen." He tells the Asian guy: "You're in charge of supplies."

A few hours later, he comes back. The white guy has done all of the bathroom cleaning and is thanked for the good work. The black guy has done all of the kitchen cleaning and is thanked for his good work. But, the Asian guy is nowhere to be found. The Captain asks around and is told that he was last seen down by the barracks. The Captain makes his way towards the barracks. As he passes a big tree, the Asian soldier jumps out from behind the tree and yells "Supplies!!!"

springparrot · Post by **springparrot** » November 7, 2008 12:23 pm

FunkHouse9 wrote:A military Captain asks three of his soldiers to do some tasks around the base. He tells the white guy: "You're in charge of bathrooms." He tells the black guy: "You're in charge of the kitchen." He tells the Asian guy: "You're in charge of supplies."

A few hours later, he comes back. The white guy has done all of the bathroom cleaning and is thanked for the good work. The black guy has done all of the kitchen cleaning and is thanked for his good work. But, the Asian guy is nowhere to be found. The Captain asks around and is told that he was last seen down by the barracks. The Captain makes his way towards the barracks. As he passes a big tree, the Asian soldier jumps out from behind the tree and yells "Supplies!!!"

OK---I laughed outloud

krusin1 · Post by **krusin1** » November 7, 2008 12:58 pm

buffettbride wrote:Why did cave men pull their women around by their hair?

So they wouldn't fill up with dirt.

so, so sorry.

Oh great... MONITOR SQUEEGEE, please!

Indiana Jolly Mon · Post by **Indiana Jolly Mon** » November 7, 2008 1:03 pm

The marriage counselor says" but you are Mickey Mouse, a beloved character, you can't divorece Mminnie just because you think she is acting a little crazy!"
mickey says "No doc, I mean she is really f***ing Goofy!"

LIPH · Post by **LIPH** » November 7, 2008 1:08 pm

3 little boys are talking about their fathers and they're trying to decide whose dad is the toughest.

The first little boy says "My dad's a fireman. He puts out fires and saves people's lives."

The second little boy says "My dad's a policeman, he puts bad people in jail."

The third little boy says "That's nothing. My dad eats light bulbs."

His 2 little friends look at him and he says "Really, the other day I walked past my parents' room and heard dad telling mom "Honey, turn out the light and I'll eat it.'"

drunkpirate66 · Post by **drunkpirate66** » November 7, 2008 1:11 pm

LIPH wrote:3 little boys are talking about their fathers and they're trying to decide whose dad is the toughest.

The first little boy says "My dad's a fireman. He puts out fires and saves people's lives."

The second little boy says "My dad's a policeman, he puts bad people in jail."

The third little boy says "That's nothing. My dad eats light bulbs."

His 2 little friends look at him and he says "Really, the other day I walked past my parents' room and heard dad telling mom "Honey, turn out the light and I'll eat it.'"

ah, the clever use of a pronoun.

blackjack · Post by **blackjack** » November 7, 2008 2:03 pm

FunkHouse9 wrote:What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?
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Irene

I'll see your Irene and raise you...

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs?

Consuelo

(say all three syllables separately)

blackjack · Post by **blackjack** » November 7, 2008 2:05 pm

What do you get when you cross Mr. Abdul Jabbar's genetic duplicate with a freezer?

An iced Kareem clone.

Frank4 · Post by **Frank4** » November 7, 2008 2:07 pm

Indiana Jolly Mon wrote:The marriage counselor says" but you are Mickey Mouse, a beloved character, you can't divorece Mminnie just because you think she is acting a little crazy!"
mickey says "No doc, I mean she is really f***ing Goofy!"

Okay, just spit out the water on that one.....

blackjack · Post by **blackjack** » November 7, 2008 2:08 pm

What do you call two guys with no arms or legs hanging above a window?

Kurt n Rod

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean?

Bob

What do you a man with no arms or legs and a speech impediment at the bottom of a bathtub?

Dwayne

blackjack · Post by **blackjack** » November 7, 2008 2:10 pm

Helen Keller Jokes:

How did Helen Keller burn her ear?

She answered the iron.

How did she burn the other ear?

They called back.

How did she burn her fingers?

She tried to read the waffle iron.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if your name was "UNNNGGGGHH"

SuperTrooper · Post by **SuperTrooper** » November 7, 2008 2:15 pm

At Sunday school the teacher asked the class what part of them did they think went to heaven first.

Little Timmy said: "Your head."

Little Mary said: "Your heart."

Little Bobby said: "Your feet."

The teacher asked Bobby why he thought your feet went first and he said: "Last night I peeked in my parents' bedroom. My mom had her feet in the air, screaming 'I'm coming! Oh God, I'm coming!'"

Hockey Mon · Post by **Hockey Mon** » November 7, 2008 2:19 pm

FunkHouse9 wrote:A military Captain asks three of his soldiers to do some tasks around the base. He tells the white guy: "You're in charge of bathrooms." He tells the black guy: "You're in charge of the kitchen." He tells the Asian guy: "You're in charge of supplies."

A few hours later, he comes back. The white guy has done all of the bathroom cleaning and is thanked for the good work. The black guy has done all of the kitchen cleaning and is thanked for his good work. But, the Asian guy is nowhere to be found. The Captain asks around and is told that he was last seen down by the barracks. The Captain makes his way towards the barracks. As he passes a big tree, the Asian soldier jumps out from behind the tree and yells "Supplies!!!"

And now all I can think about is Long Duc Dong. Donger needs food! Sexy girlfriend... Married? Yes, married. She at the church. She getting married
to oily bohunk. Extraterrestrial? Female extraterrestrial?

I could go on...

FunkHouse9 · Post by **FunkHouse9** » November 7, 2008 2:21 pm

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your doorstep?

Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs hanging on your wall?

Art