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Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 11:05 am
by srkmrd
Just moved to TEXAS! Now this is a state that knows how to live!!

Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:
Really heating up, got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Baby (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Baby had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon.

The car now smells like Kibbles and bits, I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Baby is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise a$$ cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. D@mn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my a$$ was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and a$$ . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried a$$, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a d@mn recording. Hot and sunny.

Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do $hit for 2 d@mn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

Doesn't it ever rain in this d@mn state? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this d@mn heat.

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead.

Forgot to crack the window and blew the d@mn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?"

My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking TEXAS!!

What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 11:22 am
by ~Hippolyte~
and yet SO can't wait to move there!!!!

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 11:46 am
by srkmrd
Gotta love it...........Unless I was living on a beach....I would probably go nowhere else :D

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm wonder what brings you this way :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 12:18 pm
by C-Dawg
srkmrd wrote:Gotta love it...........Unless I was living on a beach....I would probably go nowhere else :D

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm wonder what brings you this way :lol: :lol: :lol:
because when you move to Vermont, this is how your story goes......
November 8:
6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window, watching the huge, soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!

November 9:
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks this afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

November 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would beatiful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

November 21:
Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to *20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I
would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

November 27:
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 3:
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 5:
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 9:
Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. freakin' snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 18:
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white s*** fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to p***. By the time I got undressed, p*** and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the a**hole is lying.

December 20:
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's damn well lying.

December 24:
6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a b**** who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the freakin' snowplow.

December 25:
Merry Christmas!!. 20 more inches of the @#$%^& slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.

December 26:
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really
getting on my nerves.

December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28:
Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE b**** is driving me crazy!!!

December 29:
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave-in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30:
Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his
head. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31:
Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling!

January 8:
I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they give at the rest home.

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 12:26 pm
by ~Hippolyte~
See, I'd rather burn than freeze my.... off!! Being in Colorado, I do get some of both....but I still gotta get outta here!!

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 12:44 pm
by txaggirl91
I'm really afraid of what september is going to be like.

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 12:52 pm
by VanillaGrl
txaggirl91 wrote:I'm really afraid of what september is going to be like.
Me too!

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 12:55 pm
by ~Hippolyte~
VanillaGrl wrote:
txaggirl91 wrote:I'm really afraid of what september is going to be like.
Me too!
Uh-oh....what do I need to know???

hurricane season, right

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 2:17 pm
by srkmrd
~Hippolyte~ wrote:
VanillaGrl wrote:
txaggirl91 wrote:I'm really afraid of what september is going to be like.
Me too!
Uh-oh....what do I need to know???

hurricane season, right
That too......... but August and September are usually hotter than July in Texas :lol:

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 2:19 pm
by VanillaGrl
srkmrd wrote:
~Hippolyte~ wrote:
VanillaGrl wrote:
txaggirl91 wrote:I'm really afraid of what september is going to be like.
Me too!
Uh-oh....what do I need to know???

hurricane season, right
That too......... but August and September are usually hotter than July in Texas :lol:
Exactly! :roll: :roll: :-? :lol:

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 3:31 pm
by D PHarmBoy
VanillaGrl wrote:
srkmrd wrote:
~Hippolyte~ wrote:
VanillaGrl wrote:
txaggirl91 wrote:I'm really afraid of what september is going to be like.
Me too!
Uh-oh....what do I need to know???

hurricane season, right
That too......... but August and September are usually hotter than July in Texas :lol:
Exactly! :roll: :roll: :-? :lol:
I'd like to see a "small hurricane" (if there is such a thing) just to get some cloud cover and a chance of rain. I'm going to have to get rid of one of the horses for lack of grass. Round bales of hay are up to $60.00 each if you can find em.
:( :(

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 3:40 pm
by txaggirl91
Hurricane - NO!!!!

Tropical storm or depression come stall out over us for about a week - YES

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 3:45 pm
by D PHarmBoy
txaggirl91 wrote:Hurricane - NO!!!!

Tropical storm or depression come stall out over us for about a week - YES
OK, if you say so. Just find a way to get me some Damb rain!!!!!! :pirate: Our trees are starting to chase the dogs. :lol:

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 4:05 pm
by conched
D PHarmBoy wrote:
txaggirl91 wrote:Hurricane - NO!!!!

Tropical storm or depression come stall out over us for about a week - YES
OK, if you say so. Just find a way to get me some Damb rain!!!!!! :pirate: Our trees are starting to chase the dogs. :lol:
:) :)

Gotta agree with TxJanice...NO hurricanes!!!! Rain, YES!

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 4:32 pm
by VanillaGrl
I'm okay with a small tropical storm, we do need the rain something terrible. :-? :(

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 4:56 pm
by D PHarmBoy
Okay I'll take it back "NO Hurricane," just some good tropical rain. :lol:

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 5:03 pm
by VanillaGrl
D PHarmBoy wrote:Okay I'll take it back "NO Hurricane," just some good tropical rain. :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:

I think we are all pretty scarred from that last one.

Hopin' for some rain really sooooon for y'all!

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 14, 2009 6:18 pm
by nutmeg
Ahhhhh! Summer in Michigan....78 daytime low 60's at night. Other than a little cool and rainy in June, it has been lovely. :D Haven't even used the air yet. It's been cooling off so nicely at night.

The berry crops have all been delayed by the cool June though.... :-?

Makes up for January and February....(See Vermont thread above) :lol:

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 16, 2009 8:05 am
by txaggirl91
you know it is going to be hot when the icon on my accuweather ticker has gone from a sun to a thermometer with flames coming off it...

Re: Summer in Texas

Posted: July 16, 2009 8:22 am
by ~Hippolyte~
Hurricane, Tropical Depression....whichever....just remember to watch out for those Gravity Storms!!