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My niece used to work at the concierge desk on a Carnival cruise ship. Every cruise at least 50 people would stop and ask or call wanting to know...

What time is the midnight buffet?

She used to keep a list of her favorite dumb cruise questions. I'll try to get ahold of the complete list, but here are some of ones I remember:

Does the crew sleep on the ship?

Which elevator takes me to the front of the ship?

Do you generate your own electricity?

Is this island totally surrounded by water?

Is the water in the toilet salt or fresh?

What language do they speak in Alaska?

What do you do with the ice carvings after they melt?

How high above sea level are we?

How do we know which pictures are ours?

What time do they turn on the Northern Lights?

I used to work at the Salt Lake City airport and we used to get some really tough questions.

Traveler: How far is to the next terminal building?
Me: It's about 100 yards from where we're standing
Traveler: How far is that?
Me: 300 feet
Traveler: I don't know how far that is
Me: It will take you a couple of minutes to walk there. You see that building out the window, that's it.
Traveler: Should I get a cab?
Me: If you want
Traveler: Where do I get a cab?
Me: "It's about 100 yards", pointing in the opposite direction.
Traveler: Oh, I think I will do that.
Me: Have a nice day

Or the young woman who came up and asked me if I had seen her uncle. I asked her if he was famous and she said "No, he's my uncle". So I asked her what did he look like and she said "He's average height, weight, has brown hair and will be wearing a suit." I told her that I had spotted him a few minutes ago over by the bag claim.

Or, during Sundance, the guy who asked me "Where can I see a Mormon?". I told him to look around. He did and I said, "You saw at least one". He then asked me "Where, I just see normal looking people?"

The Lost Manatee wrote:I used to work at the Salt Lake City airport and we used to get some really tough questions.

Traveler: How far is to the next terminal building?
Me: It's about 100 yards from where we're standing
Traveler: How far is that?
Me: 300 feet
Traveler: I don't know how far that is
Me: It will take you a couple of minutes to walk there. You see that building out the window, that's it.
Traveler: Should I get a cab?
Me: If you want
Traveler: Where do I get a cab?
Me: "It's about 100 yards", pointing in the opposite direction.
Traveler: Oh, I think I will do that.
Me: Have a nice day

Or the young woman who came up and asked me if I had seen her uncle. I asked her if he was famous and she said "No, he's my uncle". So I asked her what did he look like and she said "He's average height, weight, has brown hair and will be wearing a suit." I told her that I had spotted him a few minutes ago over by the bag claim.

Or, during Sundance, the guy who asked me "Where can I see a Mormon?". I told him to look around. He did and I said, "You saw at least one". He then asked me "Where, I just see normal looking people?"

I used to work as a cab dispatcher at LAX. It was a terrible job. For those who don’t know LAX is two levels. Ground level is where arrivals are, upper deck is departure. So I would stand curbside and assist people getting a cab. It was pouring rain one night and someone came up to me and asked, I swear, “Is it raining this hard upstairs, too?” I didn’t ponder too much and replied, “I don’t know, I've been downstairs all night”


Some real winners at the airport I guess….