Some wife one-liners
Posted: February 5, 2010 5:15 pm
*My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. -- Henny Youngman
*My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -- Rodney Dangerfield
*A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -- Milton Berle
*I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- George Burns
*What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. -- Cindy Garner
*I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake." -- Henny Youngman
*Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller
*The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -- Henny Yungman
*People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. -- Erma Bombeck
*After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
*My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So now I have two girlfriends.
*When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
*My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -- Rodney Dangerfield
*A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -- Milton Berle
*I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- George Burns
*What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. -- Cindy Garner
*I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake." -- Henny Youngman
*Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller
*The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -- Henny Yungman
*People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. -- Erma Bombeck
*After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
*My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So now I have two girlfriends.
*When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
