And that's how the fight started
Posted: June 10, 2010 4:29 pm
>> My wife sat down on the seat next to me as I
>> was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on
>> TV?'
>>
>> I said, 'Dust.'
>>
>> And then the fight started...
>>
>> ******************************************
>>
>> My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A
>> Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to
>> her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
>>
>> "No," she answered.
>>
>> I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
>>
>> She didn't even look at me this time, simply
>> saying, "Yes."
>>
>> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
>>
>> And then the fight started....
>> ******************************************
>> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly
>> dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into
>> the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van,
>> and proceeded to back out into a torrential
>> downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I
>> pulled back into the garage, turned on the
>> radio, and discovered that the weather would be
>> bad all day.
>>
>> I went back into the house, quietly undressed,
>> and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my
>> wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
>> and whispered, "The weather out there is
>> terrible."
>>
>> My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you
>> believe my stupid husband is out fishing in
>> that?"
>>
>> And that's how the fight started...
>> ******************************************
>> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for
>> our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want
>> something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about
>> 3 seconds.'
>>
>> I bought her a bathroom scale.
>>
>> And then the fight started...
>> ******************************************
>> After retiring, I went to the Social Security
>> office to apply for Social Security. The woman
>> behind the counter asked me for my driver's
>> License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets
>> and realized I had left my wallet at home. I
>> told the woman that I was very sorry, but I
>> would have to go home and come back later.
>>
>> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I
>> opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
>> She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is
>> proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
>> Security application.
>>
>> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about
>> my experience at the Social Security office..
>>
>> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
>> You might have gotten disability, too.'
>>
>> And then the fight started...
>> ******************************************
>> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my
>> school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken
>> lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
>> nearby table.
>>
>> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
>>
>> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I
>> understand she took to drinking right after we
>> split up those many years ago, and I hear she
>> hasn't been sober since.'
>>
>> 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a
>> person could go on celebrating that long?'
>>
>> And then the fight started...
>> ******************************************
>> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for
>> some reason took my order first.. "I'll have the
>> steak, medium rare, please."
>>
>> He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad
>> cow?""
>>
>> Nah, she can order for herself."
>>
>> And then the fight started....
>> ******************************************
>> A woman was standing nude, looking in the
>> bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she
>> saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I
>> look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay
>> me a compliment.'
>>
>> The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near
>> perfect.'
>>
>> And then the fight started......
>> --
>>
>> was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on
>> TV?'
>>
>> I said, 'Dust.'
>>
>> And then the fight started...
>>
>> ******************************************
>>
>> My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A
>> Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to
>> her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
>>
>> "No," she answered.
>>
>> I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
>>
>> She didn't even look at me this time, simply
>> saying, "Yes."
>>
>> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
>>
>> And then the fight started....
>> ******************************************
>> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly
>> dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into
>> the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van,
>> and proceeded to back out into a torrential
>> downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I
>> pulled back into the garage, turned on the
>> radio, and discovered that the weather would be
>> bad all day.
>>
>> I went back into the house, quietly undressed,
>> and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my
>> wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
>> and whispered, "The weather out there is
>> terrible."
>>
>> My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you
>> believe my stupid husband is out fishing in
>> that?"
>>
>> And that's how the fight started...
>> ******************************************
>> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for
>> our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want
>> something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about
>> 3 seconds.'
>>
>> I bought her a bathroom scale.
>>
>> And then the fight started...
>> ******************************************
>> After retiring, I went to the Social Security
>> office to apply for Social Security. The woman
>> behind the counter asked me for my driver's
>> License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets
>> and realized I had left my wallet at home. I
>> told the woman that I was very sorry, but I
>> would have to go home and come back later.
>>
>> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I
>> opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
>> She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is
>> proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
>> Security application.
>>
>> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about
>> my experience at the Social Security office..
>>
>> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
>> You might have gotten disability, too.'
>>
>> And then the fight started...
>> ******************************************
>> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my
>> school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken
>> lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
>> nearby table.
>>
>> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
>>
>> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I
>> understand she took to drinking right after we
>> split up those many years ago, and I hear she
>> hasn't been sober since.'
>>
>> 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a
>> person could go on celebrating that long?'
>>
>> And then the fight started...
>> ******************************************
>> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for
>> some reason took my order first.. "I'll have the
>> steak, medium rare, please."
>>
>> He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad
>> cow?""
>>
>> Nah, she can order for herself."
>>
>> And then the fight started....
>> ******************************************
>> A woman was standing nude, looking in the
>> bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she
>> saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I
>> look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay
>> me a compliment.'
>>
>> The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near
>> perfect.'
>>
>> And then the fight started......
>> --
>>
