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Fruitcakes
Written by: Jimmy Buffett, Amy Lee
Performed by: Jimmy Buffett
Peak Chart Position: Billboard Adult Comtemporary: #29;

Originally from the Album: Fruitcakes (1994)
Additional Discography:
Buffett Live – Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays (1999)

Tales from Margaritavision (2000)
Meet Me In Margaritaville (2003)
Live at Fenway Park (2005) – DVD
Live at Fenway Park (2005)

Lyrics:
Spoken:
"You know I was talking to my friend Desdemona the other day
she runs this space station and bake shop down near Boomtown.
She told me that human beings are flawed individuals.
The cosmic bakers took us out of the oven a little too early. And that's the reason we're as crazy as we are and I believe it."

"Take for example when you go to the movies these days, you know.
They try to sell you this jumbo drink, 8 extra ounces of watered down cherry coke for an extra 25 cents.
I don't want it.
I don't want that much organziation in my life.
I don't want other people thinking for me.
I want my Junior Mints.
Where did the Junior Mints go in the
movies.
I don't want a 12 lb. Nestle's crunch for 25 dollars.
I want Junior Mints."

"We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers!
We need people that care!
I'm mad as hell! And I don't want to take it anymore!"
_____________________________________________

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen
Fruitcakes on the street
Struttin' naked through the cross walk
In the middle of the week

Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Paradise – Lost and found
Paradise – take a look around

I was out in California
Where I hear they have it all
They got riots, fires and mud slides
They got sushi in the mall

Water bars and Brontosaurs
Chinese modern lust
Shake and bake life with the quake
The secret's in the crust

Chorus

We lost our Martian rocket ship
The high paid spokesman said
Looks like that silly rocket ship
Has lost it's cone-shaped head

We spent ninety jillion dollars
Tryin' to get a look at Mars
I hear universal laughter
Ringing out among the stars

Fruitcakes in the galaxy
Fruitcakes on the Earth
Strut naked towards eternity
We've been that way since birth

Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Religion, religion.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa

Where's the church, who took the steeple
Religion's in the hands of some crazy ass people
Television preachers with bad hair and dimples
The God's honest truth is it's not that simple

It's the Buddhist in you, it's the pagan in me
It's the Muslim in him, she's Catholic ain't she?
It's that born again look, it's the wasp and the Jew
Tell me what's goin on, I ain't got a clue

Here come the big ones – Relationships –
We all got 'em, we all want 'em. What do we do with'em?

She said you've got to do your fair share
Now cough up half the rent
I treat my body like a temple
You treat yours like a tent

But the right word at the right time
May get me a little hug
That's the difference between lightening
And a harmless lightening bug

Chorus

The future – Captain's log – Star date 2000 and somethin'

We're seven years from the millennium
That's a science fiction fact
Stanley Kubrick and his buddy Hal
Now don't look that abstract

So I'll put on my Bob Marley tape
And practice what I preach
Get Ja lost in the reggae mon
As I walk along the beach

Stay in touch with my insanity
Really is the only way
It's a jungle out there kiddies
Have a very fruitful day

Fruitcakes in the kitchen
Fruitcakes on the street
Struttin' naked through the cross walk
In the middle of the week

Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Shows Played At:
04-01-2017: MGM Grand Garden Arena – Las Vegas, NV
10-22-2016: Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre – Irvine, CA
06-23-2016: Klipsch Music Center – Indianapolis, IN
12-31-2015: Barclays Center – Brooklyn, NY
10-20-2015: Isleta Amphitheater – Albuquerque, NM
08-15-2015: Xfinity Center – Mansfield, MA
06-06-2015: Sprint Center – Kansas City, MO
08-23-2014: Alpine Valley Music Theatre – East Troy, WI
08-19-2014: Susquehanna Bank Center – Camden, NJ
07-21-2014: Riverbend Music Center – Cincinnati, OH
06-23-2012: Comcast Center – Mansfield, MA
06-09-2012: Aaron’s Amphitheatre – Atlanta, GA
04-14-2012: CenturyLink Center – Omaha, NE
03-08-2012: HP Pavilion – San Jose, CA
07-19-2011: Blossom Music Center – Cuyahoga Falls, OH
05-26-2011: Farm Bureau Live – Virginia Beach, VA
05-05-2011: Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion – Houston, TX
04-23-2011: Cruzan Amphitheatre – West Palm Beach, FL
01-23-2011: Sydney Opera House – Sydney,
08-14-2010: Toyota Park – Bridgeview, IL
08-10-2010: Susquehanna Bank Center – Camden, NJ
08-07-2010: Susquehanna Bank Center – Camden, NJ
06-22-2010: DTE Music Theatre – Clarkston, MI
06-17-2010: Tweeter Center – Mansfield, MA
02-25-2010: Amway Arena – Orlando, FL
09-26-2009: La Cigale – Paris,
04-18-2009: Pizza Hut Park – Frisco, TX
02-28-2009: Waikiki Beach Shell – Honolulu, HI
02-24-2009: Maui Arts & Cultural Ctr – Maui, HI
10-25-2008: MGM Grand – Las Vegas, NV
10-21-2008: Shoreline Amphitheatre – Mountain View, CA
10-18-2008: MGM Grand – Las Vegas, NV
10-16-2008: Cricket Wireless Amphitheatre – San Diego, CA
09-19-2008: New Morning Jazz Club – Paris,
09-06-2008: Comcast Center – Mansfield, MA
09-04-2008: Comcast Center – Mansfield, MA
09-01-2008: Nissan Pavilion – Bristow, VA
08-30-2008: Nissan Pavilion – Bristow, VA
08-27-2008: Jones Beach Amphitheatre – Wantagh, NY
08-24-2008: Boardwalk Hall – Atlantic City, NJ
08-03-2008: Fort Adams State Park – Newport, RI
07-29-2008: Verizon Wireless Music Center – Noblesville, IN
07-26-2008: Toyota Park – Bridgeview, IL
07-24-2008: Toyota Park – Bridgeview, IL
07-22-2008: Post Gazette Pavilion – Burgettstown, PA
07-19-2008: Alpine Valley Music Theatre – East Troy, WI
06-14-2008: Citizens Bank Park – Philadelphia, PA
06-10-2008: DTE Music Theatre – Clarkston, MI
06-07-2008: Time Warner Cable Music Pavilion – Raleigh, NC
06-05-2008: Lakewood Amphitheatre – Atlanta, GA
05-03-2008: New Orleans Jazz Festival – New Orleans, LA
04-29-2008: Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre – Charlotte, NC
04-26-2008: Pizza Hut Park – Frisco, TX
04-24-2008: Verizon Wireless Amphitheater – St Louis, MO
04-21-2008: Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion – Houston, TX
11-01-2007: Ford Amphitheatre – Tampa, FL
10-18-2007: Fillmore Auditorium – San Francisco, CA
09-29-2007: Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre – Irvine, CA
09-18-2007: Madison Square Garden – New York, NY
07-26-2007: Riverbend Music Center – Cincinnati, OH
10-22-2005: MGM Grand – Las Vegas, NV
10-20-2005: Fillmore Auditorium – San Francisco, CA
08-27-2005: Citizens Bank Park – Philadelphia, PA
09-12-2004: Fenway Park – Boston, MA
04-27-2004: RBC Center – Raleigh, NC
04-22-2004: St Pete Times Forum – Tampa, FL
01-30-2004: Maui Arts & Cultural Ctr – Maui, HI
10-05-2002: Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre – Irvine, CA
09-26-2002: Shoreline Amphitheatre – Mountain View, CA
09-24-2002: Rose Garden – Portland, OR
08-31-2002: Tweeter Center Boston – Mansfield, MA
08-29-2002: Tweeter Center Boston – Mansfield, MA
08-27-2002: Jones Beach Amphitheatre – Wantagh, NY
08-24-2002: Alpine Valley Music Theatre – East Troy, WI
08-22-2002: Verizon Wireless Music Center – Noblesville, IN
08-20-2002: Post Gazette Pavilion – Burgettstown, PA
06-29-2002: HiFi Buys Amphitheatre – Atlanta, GA
06-27-2002: Tweeter Center Philadelphia – Camden, NJ
06-25-2002: Nissan Pavilion – Bristow, VA
06-22-2002: Tweeter Center Chicago – Tinley Park, IL
06-20-2002: Tweeter Center Chicago – Tinley Park, IL
06-18-2002: Riverbend Music Center – Cincinnati, OH
05-26-2002: MGM Grand – Las Vegas, NV
05-25-2002: MGM Grand – Las Vegas, NV
05-02-2002: Margaritaville Cafe – New Orleans, LA
04-25-2002: Smirnoff Music Center – Dallas, TX
04-23-2002: The Woodlands – Houston, TX
04-20-2002: Greensboro Coliseum – Greensboro, NC
04-18-2002: Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre – Charlotte, NC
04-16-2002: Alltel Pavilion – Raleigh, NC
04-13-2002: AM South Amphitheatre – Nashville, TN
05-24-2001: Coors Amphitheatre – San Diego, CA
05-22-2001: Desert Sky Pavilion – Phoenix, AZ
10-07-2000: Blaisdell Centre – Honolulu, HI
04-29-2000: Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre – Irvine, CA
04-22-2000: Coors Amphitheatre – San Diego, CA
12-31-1999: Universal Amphitheatre – Los Angeles, CA
12-11-1999: Coral Sky Amphitheatre – West Palm Beach, FL
12-07-1999: Compaq Center – Houston, TX
12-02-1999: Orlando Arena – Orlando, FL
11-30-1999: Ice Palace – Tampa, FL
08-26-1999: Merriweather Post Pavilion – Columbia, MD
07-22-1999: New World Music Theatre – Tinley Park, IL
07-15-1999: Deer Creek Music Center – Noblesville, IN
03-04-1999: Margaritaville Cafe – Orlando, FL
03-01-1999: Boston Park Plaza – Boston, MA
02-28-1999: Fleet Center – Boston, MA
02-26-1999: Continental Airlines Arena – East Rutherford, NJ
02-24-1999: Nassau Coliseum – Long Island, NY
02-22-1999: Madison Square Garden – New York, NY
02-20-1999: Nashville Arena – Nashville, TN
12-10-1998: Ice Palace – Tampa, FL
12-08-1998: Orlando Arena – Orlando, FL
12-06-1998: Coral Sky Amphitheatre – West Palm Beach, FL
12-04-1998: Coral Sky Amphitheatre – West Palm Beach, FL
12-02-1998: Mobile Civic Center – Mobile, AL
10-11-1998: Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre – Irvine, CA
10-09-1998: Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre – Irvine, CA
10-07-1998: Coors Amphitheatre – San Diego, CA
10-06-1998: Shoreline Amphitheatre – Mountain View, CA
10-03-1998: MGM Grand – Las Vegas, NV
09-30-1998: Tacoma Dome – Tacoma, WA
09-29-1998: Rose Garden – Portland, OR
09-26-1998: Fiddlers Green – Denver, CO
09-24-1998: Starplex Amphitheatre – Dallas, TX
08-30-1998: Great Woods – Mansfield, MA
08-28-1998: Great Woods – Mansfield, MA
08-26-1998: Great Woods – Mansfield, MA
08-25-1998: The Meadows – Hartford, CT
08-22-1998: Merriweather Post Pavilion – Columbia, MD
08-21-1998: Merriweather Post Pavilion – Columbia, MD
08-19-1998: E Center – Camden, NJ
08-18-1998: E Center – Camden, NJ
08-06-1998: Jones Beach Amphitheatre – Wantagh, NY
08-05-1998: PNC Bank Arts Center – Holmdel, NJ
08-03-1998: Polaris Amphitheatre – Columbus, OH
08-01-1998: Nissan Pavilion – Bristow, VA
07-31-1998: Nissan Pavilion – Bristow, VA
07-29-1998: Star Lake Amphitheatre – Burgettstown, PA
07-27-1998: Star Lake Amphitheatre – Burgettstown, PA
07-25-1998: Riverbend Music Center – Cincinnati, OH
07-24-1998: Riverbend Music Center – Cincinnati, OH
07-04-1998: Carter Finley Stadium – Raleigh, NC
07-02-1998: Lakewood Amphitheatre – Atlanta, GA
06-30-1998: Lakewood Amphitheatre – Atlanta, GA
06-27-1998: New World Music Theatre – Tinley Park, IL
06-25-1998: New World Music Theatre – Tinley Park, IL
06-23-1998: Deer Creek Music Center – Noblesville, IN
06-20-1998: Alpine Valley Music Theatre – East Troy, WI
06-19-1998: Blossom Music Center – Cuyahoga Falls, OH
06-17-1998: GTE Amphitheatre – Virginia Beach, VA
06-14-1998: North Charleston Coliseum – Charleston, SC
05-02-1998: New Orleans Jazz Festival – New Orleans, LA
02-19-1998: Madison Square Garden – New York, NY
02-14-1998: Charlotte Coliseum – Charlotte, NC
02-11-1998: Thompson Boling Arena – Knoxville, TN
02-09-1998: Ice Palace – Tampa, FL
10-11-1996: Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre – Irvine, CA
09-28-1996: The Gorge – George, WA
09-26-1996: Rose Garden – Portland, OR
09-21-1996: Southpark Meadows Amphitheatre – Austin, TX
09-18-1996: Starplex Amphitheatre – Dallas, TX
08-28-1996: Great Woods – Mansfield, MA
08-24-1996: The Meadows – Hartford, CT
08-21-1996: Southampton College – Southampton, NY
08-17-1996: Nissan Pavilion – Bristow, VA
08-14-1996: Virginia Beach Amphitheatre – Virginia Beach, VA
08-10-1996: Continental Airlines Arena – East Rutherford, NJ
08-07-1996: Walnut Creek Pavilion – Raleigh, NC
08-02-1996: Star Lake Amphitheatre – Burgettstown, PA
06-22-1996: Merriweather Post Pavilion – Columbia, MD
06-20-1996: Blockbuster Pavilion – Charlotte, NC
06-17-1996: Lakewood Amphitheatre – Atlanta, GA
06-15-1996: Buckeye Lake – Columbus, OH
06-14-1996: Blossom Music Center – Cuyahoga Falls, OH
06-08-1996: New World Music Theatre – Tinley Park, IL
06-07-1996: New World Music Theatre – Tinley Park, IL
06-03-1996: Deer Creek Music Center – Noblesville, IN
04-27-1996: Margaritaville Cafe – New Orleans, LA
04-20-1996: Kravis Center – West Palm Beach, FL
08-05-1995: Buckeye Lake – Columbus, OH
05-31-1995: Walnut Creek Pavilion – Raleigh, NC
04-27-1995: The Pyramid – Memphis, TN
04-26-1995: Starwood Amphitheatre – Nashville, TN
04-23-1995: Orlando Arena – Orlando, FL
04-22-1995: Orlando Arena – Orlando, FL
04-20-1995: Jacksonville Coliseum – Jacksonville, FL
04-19-1995: Miami Arena – Miami, FL
04-14-1995: North Charleston Coliseum – Charleston, SC
04-12-1995: Coast Coliseum – Biloxi, MS
04-11-1995: Maravich Assembly Center – Baton Rouge, LA
10-07-1994: Shoreline Amphitheatre – Mountain View, CA
10-06-1994: Shoreline Amphitheatre – Mountain View, CA
10-02-1994: Blockbuster – San Bernardino, CA
09-30-1994: Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre – Irvine, CA
09-27-1994: Fiddlers Green – Denver, CO
09-23-1994: Starplex Amphitheatre – Dallas, TX
09-21-1994: The Woodlands – Houston, TX
08-01-1994: Deep Hollow Ranch – Montauk, NY
07-28-1994: Great Woods – Mansfield, MA
07-26-1994: Merriweather Post Pavilion – Columbia, MD
07-23-1994: Merriweather Post Pavilion – Columbia, MD
07-22-1994: Blockbuster Pavilion – Charlotte, NC
07-16-1994: Buckeye Lake – Columbus, OH
06-19-1994: Popular Creek Music Theatre – Hoffman Estates, IL
06-18-1994: Popular Creek Music Theatre – Hoffman Estates, IL
06-14-1994: Riverbend Music Center – Cincinnati, OH
06-03-1994: Walnut Creek Pavilion – Raleigh, NC
06-01-1994: Jones Beach Amphitheatre – Wantagh, NY
04-16-1994: Orlando Arena – Orlando, FL
Number of Shows: 210