Lyrics:
Well, I’m weak and I’m worthless,
And I can’t make up my mind
When they handed out ambition,
I was next to last in line
I was a little lamb until I found that girl
When she holds me in her arms
I’m the champion of the world.

I was drunk on a Monday standing at the bar
When somebody said
Hey mister, would you help me start my car?
Well, I wouldn’t know a sparkplug from the Duke of Earl
But when I drive home to my baby
I’m the champion of the world.

People talk behind my back
How can she stay with a man like that?
It ain’t easy, but heaven knows she tries
Oh, they never see the sweetness of the love
That’s there between us
When she holds my hand and looks me in the eye

I’m a creep, I’m a coward
On my hands and knees I crawl
I fall apart under pressure, I’ve got no backbone at all
My daddy always told me,
You throw a baseball like a girl
But when my baby holds me
I’m the champion of the world.